Interactions
                                by Ken Arromdee

    The usual calm of Nerima gave way to the usual, well, non-calm as Ranma
and Akane, on their way home from school, were stopped by a monster.  It was a
strange thing, like a caricature of an orange-skinned woman in a baseball
uniform.

    "Hello", said Akane as the being walked up to them.

    It didn't respond except to growl.

    "Get out of our way", said Ranma.  "I need to go home to train for my
challenge tomorrow!"

    The monster growled again and held up what resembled a home plate, still
covered in dirt on one side.  It suddenly began to glow, and wisps of something
flowed from Ranma and Akane to the creature.

    "It's a vampire!" said Ranma.  "Get back, Akane, this isn't a fight for
girls."

    Ranma tried to push her back, but she dodged.  Instead Akane threw a kick
at the creature's midsection, then grabbed it by the legs and flung it right
into a tree branch.  Then Ranma punched the creature hard in the center of
the chest.  It disintegrated to powder without Ranma even breaking a sweat.

    "That looked like something the Sailor Senshi would fight", said Akane.

    "The who?"

    "Don't tell me you haven't heard of them.  You've been here for almost a
year.  They're female fighters.  They save people from things like that."

    "Well, if they're so good, where are they?"

    "I don't know, maybe they missed their bus or something."

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "Nihao!" said Shampoo.  "Come on in and eat Shampoo's food."  Then she
noticed that the supposed customer was a monster whose skin seemed to be made
of dried noodles.  "Not worry, not try to cook customer" she said.

    "Energy energy energy!  Eat energy!" said the monster.

    "We no have energy, we have ramen" said Shampoo.

    "Energy smells luscious!" replied the creature.

    Shampoo, whose vocabulary in this foreign language didn't yet include the
word "luscious", went inside the Nekohanten for a dictionary.

    The creature surprised Shampoo by running to block her.  It seemed like the
thing could run at twice the speed of a normal human being.  Shampoo mentally
scolded herself for not paying attention as the creature announced "Eat you!"

    Well, that was in Shampoo's vocabulary.  "Not eat Shampoo."  She gave the
monster a kiss on the cheek and said "Shampoo kill monster.  See if Shampoo
eat monster instead."

    The monster sent out tentacles of noodles.  Shampoo leaped into the air
as the tentacles hit the wall and each one made a one inch hole.  If nobody
stopped it it could hurt some child or even an adult who didn't know martial
arts, she thought as she jumped on it from behind and wrestled it into the
restaurant and over to the stove.

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "You want advice for your fight with Ryouga, son-in-law?" asked Cologne.

    "Come on, old woman.  I need help."

    "You don't need help, son-in-law, I've..."

    Suddenly a green woman wearing pencils all over her body crashed through
the front door, trying to grab Cologne and suck her energy out.  "Don't
interrupt us" said Cologne; she touched a single point on the woman-creature's
back and it disintegrated into dust.

    She cleared her throat and tried to remember what the rest of her sentence
was going to be.

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "Prepare to die, Ranma!" yelled Ryouga.  "I finally figured out how to make
it to a challenge on time!  I just called you on the phone and stayed put on
the street corner without walking anywhere!  I can't get lost if I don't move!
Now we can end it."  Ryouga thrust his finger into the ground and yelled
"Bakusai Tenketsu!"  The ground shattered, and he picked up a huge pice of
concrete  and tossed it at Ranma.

    The next Dark Kingdom monster to enter Nerima, a tiger-woman, chose that
moment to come out of a dark portal that suddenly appeared in mid-air.  "Watch
it!" said Ranma to the creature.

    "It's just a monster", replied Ryouga, knocking it out with one punch to
the head.  "You can't hide behind it...."

    Of course, thought Ranma.  Hide behind it.  If Ryouga wasn't looking
directly at him, he would get lost easily.  Ranma quickly dodged behind the
black portal.

    "Where did you go, Ranma?" yelled Ryouga.  "Running away again?"  He
lifted a car.  No Ranma there.  He tried searching various places where that
coward Ranma might hide, and was about a half block away before Ranma said
"Over here!"

    Ranma easily predicted the next attack from Ryouga.  It was a Shishi
Hokoudan that destroyed the portal--Ranma never heard of anyone who owned one
of those portal things complaining anyway--but Ranma was nowhere to be found
until he appeared beside Ryouga and threw him into the side of a truck.

    Ryouga stood up from the pile of metal wreckage that was once a truck
and got one good blow in on Ranma before he could leap away.  Still, it was
nowhere near enough to make him dizzy, let alone knock him out, and the fight
continued for almost an hour past that point before Ryouga got lost enough to
end it.

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "It was a draw!" exclaimed Ranma.  "Ryouga ran away."  He glared down at
Akane's "pet", snugly nestled in her arms.

    P-chan made angry 'bweeeee' noises at him.

    "You and Ryouga shouldn't fight so much", said Akane.  "You're always
picking on him."  The pig nodded.  "Now I want to watch this..."

    Ranma looked at the TV.  "The Sailor Senshi?  Like I said, if they're so
great, why don't we ever see them?"

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "Your computer says that new Dark Kingdom entrance is where, Ami-chan?"
wondered Minako.

    "Nerima" replied the blue-haired girl.  

    "We have to go and stop them!"

    "I know!" said Usagi.  "We could go on vacation!"

    "I think that's the worst idea you've come up with in a long time, dumpling
head!" yelled Rei.  Then she gave the matter some thought, trying to recall
what Ami had told the gang about Nerima before.  "Nerima...  You're right.
Forget the youmas.  It's a great day for the beach and some ice cream."