Introduction: This is a series of fake "manga translations" I wrote a number of years back, copying the style of Hitoshi Doi's genuine translations. It started as an April Fools hoax, but I did other ones at other times of the year. The last one changed style because Doi had basically stopped doing manga translations at that point. (A confusion I hadn't anticipated was that some people thought that the obvious fakeness of the story only meant it's a translation of some dojinshi. No, it's completely fake.) "Toshiyori Jiro" was a character of mine from a Ranma-based RPG (run using Hero System rules). The game started as email and went to online on muds for a short while; the comment about "waiting for four" was a reference to waiting to receive the fourth move in the game. I still use the character Jiro (name in female form is Mizue) on muds from time to time. The JIS codes actually read "Ken Arromdee" in katakana. Fight of our Life vol. 1 part 3 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/04/01 p 43 Ranma So it's finally started. Akane It's only a new high school district. Akane We're all affected. Akane You don't have to get upset about it. p 44 Kasumi I don't like the way that guy is staring. Nabiki I think I can fix that. Nabiki Hey Ataru! Ataru Yes? Ataru Yes, beautiful? Nabiki Then again.... p 45 Nabiki I know your type. Nabiki You like the chase more than the catch. Nabiki If you ever caught anyone you'd ignore them. Nabiki At least the red-headed girl is safe from you. Ataru What red-headed girl? Nabiki Forget it, I don't think she'd be interested. Ataru I can make her interested. Nabiki Do you really think so? Nabiki You don't know who I'm talking about. p 46 Nabiki So he promised not to bother us. Kasumi Oh, what did you say? Nabiki Never mind. p 47 Ataru I'm waiting here for you. Ranma What is this guy talking about? Nabiki Looks like rain. Ranma Huh? Nabiki Not up there, down here. Nabiki Have fun. p 48 Nabiki There she is, chasing me. Nabiki Sorry I have to run but.... Ataru Red-headed girl, come here! Ranma-chan What do you want? Ataru This! Ataru What?! She escaped?! Ranma-chan Why are you chasing me? Ranma-chan I don't normally look like this, you know. Ataru You don't need makeup. Ataru The way you are is fine with me. p 49 Ranma-chan I think I've lost him. Akane Here. Ranma Thanks. Ranma Wait, why are you carrying a tea kettle? Akane Nabiki gave it to me. She said you'd need it. Ranma What was that all about anyway? p 50 Ranma Hey, watch your step! Ataru I'm looking for the red-headed girl. Akane She's engaged to someone else... Ataru But who will I go out with? Akane ... me! Ataru You? OK, fine with me. Akane I didn't say that I-- Ataru You're a bit thin, but I don't mind. p 51 Ataru W-w-where did I go wrong (slump)? Nabiki Fickle, isn't he? Nabiki Anyway, he'll be seeing stars, for sure. p 52 Ranma Say, you don't look like you're from around here. Lum Have you seen darling around? Ranma Who? Lum Ataru Moroboshi. He is promised to me. Ranma Oh no. Ranma He was chasing after the red-headed girl. Ranma Don't blame her. p 53 Lum Darling, what were you doing when I wasn't around? Ataru What do you mean? Lum The red-headed girl. Ataru I can explain. Ataru She was chasing me. Lum A likely story. Lum Why do you have to ignore me so much?! p 54 Kasumi You know you have horns, don't you? Lum And I can use them. Lum I am going to get some answers out of the red-headed girl. Nabiki Oh-oh. p 55 Nabiki I want your help. Kunou You? A favor from me? Kunou 2000 yen. Kunou If you can do it.... Nabiki No, it's just that the red-headed girl is in trouble. Nabiki But I suppose it doesn't matter to you. p 56 Ryouga The girl in the tiger stripes wants revenge on Ranma? Ryouga So which side are you on? Nabiki Me, I'm a bystander. Nabiki Come, see for yourself. p 57 Nabiki I think Ataru got himself in trouble. Sakura That happens all the time. Sakura He really shouldn't do that, it's bad for his karma. Nabiki You can still stop him. Cherry I think we shall visit the schoolyard, Sakura. Cherry Meeting the new arrivals should be quite interesting. p 58 Nabiki Are you ready? I have the water. Kodachi Hello, Ranma. Have a rose. Kodachi Now, while he can't move or speak. p 59 Nabiki Lum, I heard you're looking for the red-headed girl. Nabiki Here she is. Lum So, explain what is between you and Ataru? Lum Oh, not talking? Maybe darling was right! Kunou That demon-girl is electrocuting her! Kunou I must save her! Ryouga Need some help, Lum? Ryouga She definitely needs help. They both do. Akane Why is everyone fighting? Akane You almost hit me! p 60 Sakura Quiet down, everyone! Ataru I saved you, red-headed girl! Cherry Ataru can be pretty fast under special circumstances. Kodachi Not me, I don't need saving. Shampoo Ranma, why don't you tell them? Eh? Kasumi I see what everyone means. Ranma no baka. Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight of our Life vol. 1 part 7 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/04/20 p 124 Ranma You're really entering the cooking contest? Akane Yes. Ranma But everyone at this fair will know it if you fail. Akane I'm not going to fail. Akane You just don't like how I cook. p 125 Akane I hope I don't fail. Akane What's this? A-ko Don't you ever give up? B-ko When C-ko enters that contest, it will be me who helps her. A-ko She doesn't need help. A-ko Get out of the way! Akane What? p 126 B-ko You destroyed my sidewinder missiles! Akane I just hit them a bit. Akane Shoddy workmanship. Akane Anyone else might have been seriously hurt. A-ko Say, you're pretty good. Akane Humph. p 127 A-ko Uh-oh. B-ko Hah. I defeated her. At last! B-ko Now for that interloper. Akane Not this time. Akane Hello.... goodbye.... Akane Hope that mecha is under a service contract. A-ko And that's not all you have to worry about. B-ko Oh no! p 128 Shinobu She's spying on us! Shinobu Over there. Ataru Come here, Lum. Lum Yes, darling. Lum You do love me after all! Ataru I didn't mean .... p 129 Ataru Just tell me why you're spying on us. Lum Spying? Lum Oh, this telescope. Lum There are some girls fighting over there. Ataru Oh yeah? Lemme see. Shinobu p 130 Lum One of them is going to help C-ko in the contest. Lum We can't have that. Akane Hello, Lum. Akane Spying on someone? Akane I heard something about the contest. p 131 Akane I'm going to win it. Akane Hah, missed! Lum Well, this one won't! Akane Hah, missed again! Akane Try zapping this! Lum Say, you're pretty good. p 132 Ataru They're going to call a truce. Shinobu How can you tell? Ataru The white flag gave it away. Ataru No way am I staying around to see what happens. p 133 Lum Let's work this out together. Lum Neither of us wants C-ko to win. Akane What are you suggesting? Lum Come to my ship and I'll show you. p 134 Lum A-ko is half alien. Lum These red rocks do interesting things to her race. Lum But it only lasts two days. Lum And each one only works once. Akane And of course I get to slip them near her. Akane No thanks. Akane We had better get back to fighting. p 135 Akane It's Ranma! Ranma Hello. What are you doing? Lum The tractor beam was off. Ranma I can jump pretty high. Ranma Anyway, I heard part of what you were saying. Ranma You're going to use these rocks to make a weapon against A-ko. Ranma That's cheating. Ranma I thought you weren't going to fail anyway, Akane. Ranma I think I'm going to ask her about this. p 136 B-ko Take that! Ranma Excuse me, I heard you were giving advice to -- A-ko Can't you see I'm busy?! p 137 A-ko Thanks. A-ko I've never seen anyone take care of B-ko that fast. Ranma I just wanted to ask you about this rock. A-ko Take it away! A-ko It does strange and peculiar things! p 138 sign Cooking Contest, Teenage Division, 1 Helper Allowed Kasumi Are you ready, Akane? A-ko Are you ready, C-ko? Lum Hmph. You can't even cook without outside help. Lum My cooking is going to be out of this world. p 139 Kasumi That's not salt, that's garlic. Akane It _is_ salt. C-ko Can I empty my box into it? A-ko No! A-ko Just do what I tell you. Lum I'm finished. Lum Just like at home, except for substituting the ramen. Ataru You said before that you needed alien noodles to absorb the energy. Lum Oh now I remember. Lum Run!! p 140 judge Sorry folks, we have to end the contest prematurely. judge But I'm sure everyone had a blast. judge Will those with intact dishes please bring them here before the cleanup crew arrives? Akane Here. judge Hmm. Interesting use of garlic. judge Be glad I'm not a vampire. judge Next. p 141 C-ko Taste this! judge This is pretty good! A-ko See? Nothing to worry about! p 142 Akane I didn't do so bad. I was second place! Ranma There were only three places. C-ko Here, everyone have some! Akane Well, all right. Lum Not so fast. Ranma Don't tell me you're going to zap her. Ranma It'd be fairer to challenge her to a cuteness contest. Lum Well, er.... Lum Go away, C-ko. p 143 Ataru I spoke to A-ko today. Ataru About the cooking contest, two days ago. Ataru Your red rock could cause anything weird to happen. Ataru This time it made A-ko a psychokinetic chef. Ataru Which is how she made C-ko's food good by staring at it. Ataru So you made yourselves lose that contest! p 144 Akane Want to call another truce? Lum Yes. Lum Darling, how _dare_ you insult our cooking skills! Ataru Uh-oh. Ataru Before you attack I'd better warn you. Ataru You just ate leftover contest food. Ataru C-ko's food is in your stomach now. Ataru But two days will have passed in ten seconds from now. Lum Gasp. Choke. Blech. Gag. ZAP!!! Akane Ulp. Argh. Belch. COME BACK HERE!!!! Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight of our Life vol. 1 part 8 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/05/18 p 146 C-ko I'm still confused by all these new people around here. C-ko So who are you? Tsubasa Tsubasa. You know, you're cute when you're puzzled! A-ko Leave her alone! A-ko Oh, no, watch out for.... B-ko Sorry. p 147 C-ko Waaaaaah! B-ko OK, I didn't _mean_ to knock A-ko out. C-ko Tsubasa, help me! A-ko "Tsubasa, help me"? B-ko I thought I knocked you out. p 148 Ranma-chan Ataru, let me get this straight. Ranma-chan No matter what I am now, I am really a guy. Ranma-chan Stop chasing me! Ataru Then why is Kunou in love with you? Ranma-chan BAKA! p 149 Ukyou Oh, hello Ranma. Ukyou I don't think Ataru's met me. Ukyou I'm Ukyou. I'm _her_ fiancee. Ataru Really a guy, huh? Ataru Hey, what are you whispering about? Ukyou When I give the signal, RUN! p 150 Ranma-chan You came in at exactly the wrong time. Ukyou Well, being a known girl near Ataru is unsafe. Ukyou What was I supposed to do? Ranma-chan You? Ranma-chan What am _I_ supposed to do? p 151 Ukyou What was that whoosh? Ranma-chan Here comes another! B-ko Hey, you tripped me! B-ko Do you know how it feels to be inside a twelve ton mecha when someone trips it? Ukyou You just didn't watch where you were going. A-ko Be nice to them. Give them a lift. p 152 Ranma-chan You're working together? A-ko It seems Tsubasa is quite taken with C-ko. B-ko We're fighting for C-ko's hand. Ukyou Well, that's all very nice, but.... Ranma-chan This isn't our problem. Ataru I'm a better man than your fiancee, pony-tailed girl! Ranma-chan Need I bother saying what the problem is? p 153 Ranma-chan Got any hot water in here? Ranma That's better. B-ko Say, if you switched clothes, would that throw off Ataru? Ranma and Ukyou NO! Akane YES! p 154 A-ko What are you doing here? Akane Ataru Moroboshi is back there. Akane Guess what I'm doing here! p 155 Ukyou Don't go in there, Ranma's still dressing. Akane I'm allowed. I'm his fiancee. Ukyou Well, if that's sufficient reason, then.... Akane Wait! p 156 C-ko You can stop running now. C-ko And put me down. C-ko The mecha has stopped. Tsubasa That sounds odd! Tsubasa As though there's a fight from inside. Tsubasa Stay here. C-ko Uh... huh... p 157 Tsubasa Come out, A-ko, B-ko! Tsubasa Let's settle this once and for all. Tsubasa C-ko belongs with me, not with you! A-ko Then... B-ko ...fight! p 158 Ranma There they go. Ranma Do any of you know how to pilot one of these things? Akane No.... Ukyou No.... p 159 Ranma Let's see, you put your foot here and.... Ataru Don't hide in that, pony-tailed girl! Ukyou Ataru, what are you going to say to Lum? Ataru Lum's not around. Ukyou Lum's right here, with me. p 160 Ataru Say, that's the pony-tailed girl's clothes! Ataru So you really are somebody else! Ataru But you still look like a girl! Ukyou Lum! Ataru That curse seems awful. Ataru To help you against such a thing, I will even take my chances with Lum. p 161 Ranma I think it's working now. Akane It's only moving in circles, let me try! Ranma Akane, watch out! Ranma You walked us back to the fight again! p 162 A-ko Give it up, Tsubasa! B-ko Let C-ko go! Tsubasa Never! C-ko Stop it! Stop it! Tsubasa So you suddenly decide you don't like me? Tsubasa I see A-ko and B-ko must be a bad influence! p 163 C-ko Save me! Ataru Someone needs rescuing? p 164 Ukyou Isn't that something. Ukyou Ataru knocks out Tsubasa, A-ko, B-ko, and incidentally C-ko. Ukyou And he's still coming this way! Ranma Turn this thing! Akane I'm trying! I can't control it! Look out! Ranma Not water again! p 165 Akane Ooh.... Akane I think that that water must have shorted it out. Akane Ranma, are you all right? Ataru Oww.... what did I run into? Ataru Oh, you're all girls! Ataru Look at all these girls! Ataru I want to go out with you! Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight of our Life vol. 1 part 9 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/06/05 p 167 D Er, excuse me. A-ko What is it you want? A-ko If it's C-ko, she's somewhere else. D It is C-ko, well it isn't really. D Now that her mother is keeping an eye on her, I'm no longer needed on this planet. D A ship was supposed to come in two days. I've waited four months. A-ko I can't help you. A-ko But I think I can find someone who can. p 168 Tsubasa Wonderful cooking! Nagisa I'm glad you like it. Nagisa So, what do you think? Ryonosuke Hmph. Ukyou Well, like you said. Nagisa Like who said? p 169 sound effect R-i-i-i-ng Nagisa Hello? A-ko I'd like to speak to Tsubasa. Nagisa Is she there? Tsubasa I'm not here. A-ko I heard that. A-ko Tell her she promised to make up for the trouble she caused us. p 170 Tsubasa I guess I did promise. Tsubasa So what is it? A-ko Find Ataru Moroboshi and tell him.... Tsubasa Why can't you do it yourself? p 171 sound effect Knock, knock. Ukyou Wait, what's that? Ukyou Around the corner. Ryonosuke Looks like Ataru, all right. Ryonosuke He's chasing a pony-tailed girl. Ryonosuke It figures. Ranma-chan I'm not a girl! Ataru You can't fool me. Ataru I know the difference between the guys and the girls. Ukyou Hey, Ranma, hide over here! p 171 Ataru OK, where did she go? Ataru Wait! Hey, put me down! D I've been trying to get home for four months. D Do you know how annoying it is to _wait_ for _four_.... Ataru Put me down! Tsubasa You are going to help D. p 172 Tsubasa A-ko said you could just call a cab. Tsubasa So do it already and let's get this settled! Ataru But their fees are outrageous! Ataru I'll never forget the last time I.... Ryonosuke Think of it as payment for chasing the wrong girls. p 173 Ataru You all have to get in a circle. Ataru Follow my chant. Ataru Bentora, Bentora, space people.... Ranma-chan How long does this take? Ataru Just a few more hours. Ukyou Hours? p 174 Ataru They're summoned by psychic vibes through emotional releases. Ranma-chan Hey, watch it! Ataru Such as the ones I'm releasing now! Ukyou Get away from her, she's my fiancee! Ryonosuke Wait, Ukyou, I thought you were.... that we both.... Ryonosuke You with a girl for a fiancee. Ryonosuke You seem to be more mixed up than I am. p 175 Nagisa Come on, Ryo, lighten up. Nagisa Besides, I see something coming. Nagisa Up there. It's a real ugly shade of paisley. cabbie Yer them Earthlings which called, are yer? p 176 cabbie Well, hop in. D It's just me. I want to go home! cabbie Yer gonna have to all come in, to get the group rate. Ryonosuke So what _is_ the rate? cabbie Well, the yen/Altarian dollar rates've changed. cabbie So no problem! Cost yer no more than a trip around the block! p 177 Ryonosuke So what _is_ the rate? Ataru Nice to see you're not making the same mistake I did. Ataru You're a pretty cool guy, Ryo. Ukyou pssst.... Ryonosuke OK, Ukyou. Ryonosuke Tell me the rate or my friend here serves you on an okonomiyaki. p 178 cabbie Believe me, it's against the union rules to tell! Ataru It's the oil supply, isn't it? Ataru D, you don't have that much oil, do you? D I've heard they accept substitutes. Ranma-chan What have you gotten us into, Ataru? Ataru Me? It was all of you who.... Ranma-chan And Ataru, keep your hands to yourself! p 179 D Do you take credit cards? cabbie Oil, or electricity. D But our planet can barely scrounge up a space fleet! cabbie Look, folks, make up yer minds! Or I drop you off here in space. Y'all aren't air-breathers, I hope. p 180 Ranma-chan We'd better do something. Ranma-chan Come all over here and let's discuss this. Ranma-chan Not that close, Ataru! Ukyou Tsubasa, really, you're almost as bad as Ataru. Ukyou But I still like Ranma better. Tsubasa Ranma seems occupied now. p 181 Ryonosuke So it's decided. Ranma-chan Hey cabbie! Ranma-chan This is a holdup! Ryonosuke Make no sudden moves. cabbie Ha, ha, you don't even have weapons. p 182 Ranma-chan See that seat, made of solid steel? WHAP. Ukyou And I am an expert with the style of the okonomiyaki. Ukyou Watch. WHAP. cabbie What do youse want from me? Tsubasa Follow D's directions! p 183 D 1.33 parsecs ahead. Two right. Three up. D Enter that system. Bearing 2.761. Watch out for the comet. D Watch out for that comet. D Watch out for that comet!!!! p 184 (everybody) WATCH OUT FOR THAT COMET!!!!! (sound effect, untranslatable) p 185 Ukyou He should have watched out for that comet. Ataru Face it, there's no way you can hold me responsible for this. D Just jump out of this wreck when we're near my planet. Ataru I'm not going first. Ryonosuke Yes you are. p 186 D Goodbye and thanks! D It's a good thing we have these orbiting debris interceptors. They saved everyone. D They should also be able to get you back home. Ranma-chan Have any hot water? p 187 Nagisa I was a bit worried there. Nagisa But we all came through. Especially you, Ryo. Nagisa I could kiss you. In fact I think I will. Nagisa Ataru, get out of the way!!!! p 188 Ataru Kiss me too, I like to kiss girls. Nagisa BAKA! I'm a guy, not a girl. Remember me, Nagisa? Ataru _What_? Ataru Er, sorry? It's just that you acted like a girl.... Ataru Wait, why did you try to kiss him? Ryonosuke I'm a girl, not a guy! Ryonosuke You've been staring at Ranma too long, to not recognize me. p 189 Ataru Well, there are still other girls in the world.... Ataru Kiss me, Tsubasa. Tsubasa Keep off me! Tsubasa Look. I'm not a girl, I'm a guy! Ataru Oh no... Ataru This can't be true. You and that guy Ukyou.... Ukyou I'm not a guy, I'm a girl! Ataru B-But Ranma's your fiancee. p 190 Ranma So she says. Ranma I'm not a girl. I'm a guy. I tried to tell you. Ataru Uh.... you're not... you are... you all ..... Ataru I don't feel so good.... you mean everyone except that guy D.... Ranma D wasn't a guy. D was a girl. Ataru Ulp. sound effect faint. plop. (everyone) Ataru no baka!!!! Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight of our Life vol. 2 part 3 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/07/03 p 42 Ataru Come here, Ranma! Ranma-chan Even knowing I'm really a guy? Ranma-chan Don't you ever give up? Ataru I don't plan a steady relationship. Ataru The attraction is purely physical. p 43 Kunou It's you, the girl Ranma! Kunou Come here, I love you! Ataru Get away, Kunou! sound effect Crash! Nabiki Hmm. I am _going_ to do something about this Moroboshi guy. p 44 Mendo What is this? Nabiki I just came upon them. Nabiki A pair of heroic fighters, lying unconscious in the street! Mendo You are so right, Nabiki-chan. Nabiki Their health could fail! We must give them aid at once! Mendo Nabiki-chan, I scarcely know what to say about your generosity. p 45 Nabiki We shall take them to Tofu-sensei, to tend to their injuries immediately! Mendo The Shutaro limousine awaits, around the corner. Nabiki And I shall be there, riding with you through the cherry blossoms, as you and I travel to our destiny! Kasumi Hello, Nabiki. Kasumi Why are you talking like that? p 46 Tofu-sensei What happened to these two? Nabiki Oh, they were chasing some girl at the end of the block. Nabiki Mendo here helped me bring them over. Mendo She is such an astounding girl, don't you think? p 47 Nabiki B-ko, can you do me a favor? Nabiki I know Shampoo has these powders stored away. Nabiki Steal them for me. B-ko No way! B-ko Why can't you? Nabiki First, I don't want to get caught. Nabiki Second, I found this in Mendo's limousine. slip ``Mendo property repair bill, 100000 yen, caused by unknown mecha.'' p 48 B-ko Here they are. B-ko What are they anyway? Nabiki The cheap imitation ``Jyusenkyo Springs'' series. Nabiki Just like the real thing, except they only work once. B-ko The slip? Nabiki Here. p 49 Tofu-sensei Nabiki, why are you photocopying that slip so much? Nabiki Oh, never mind. Tofu-sensei Hello, Ranma. Tofu-sensei There's some hot water back there in the kitchen. Ranma-chan Thanks. Nabiki While you're there, get me some cold water. p 50 Ataru Where did Ranma go? Nabiki Ranma is a guy. Nabiki When he looks like a girl, it doesn't make him one. Ataru I don't believe you. Ataru A girl is a girl. Ataru This is what a guy does to a girl. Nabiki Get away! p 51 Nabiki What if I told you I could find the perfect girl for you? Nabiki Beautiful, same interests as you, and all that? Ataru I'd love it. Nabiki I thought so. Ataru-chan Why did you splash me? Ataru-chan Hey, what is this? Ataru-chan Eeek! You didn't explain it thoroughly! p 52 Ataru-chan So this is what it's like. Ataru-chan I'm gorgeous! Kunou Purple-haired girl, why are you kissing a mirror? Ataru-chan Glad to see you, Kunou. I need some help. Kunou I'll save you, purple-haired girl. Ataru-chan No, I didn't mean.... Ataru-chan I'd better run! p 53 Lum Rei, it'll never work. Lum Besides, I am engaged to Ataru. Rei You are so nice. Lum And you are such a beast. Lum All you're interested in is my cooking. Lum Ataru would never be that way. P-chan Eek. Lum And don't go trying to eat innocent pigs, either. p 54 Ataru-chan Hey, Lum, hide here. Ataru-chan He'll probably collide with Kunou. Ataru-chan Oh no, they're helping each other. Ataru-chan This is starting to look like a parade. Ataru-chan And I'm going to get blamed again. p 55 Lum Don't be silly, girl. Lum It's obvious nothing here is your fault. Lum It's not as though you're Ataru Moroboshi or something. Lum I love him, but he can do the most outrageous things. p 56 Kunou I cannot decide. Kunou Ranma or you, purple-haired girl. Ataru-chan What about Akane? Kunou Oh, I don't know if I could handle more than two girls. Nabiki Hi there. Having fun? p 57 Ataru-chan I'll kill you! Lum Don't be so violent, you're sounding like Akane. Lum What did she do to you anyway? Ataru-chan She used some magical spring water mix. Ataru-chan I'm really a guy. Ataru-chan In fact, someone you'd probably know. p 58 Lum Whoever you are, that Kunou is acting really rude! Lum Chasing after a person like you, who isn't even a real girl! Kunou Ouch! Lum Bothering people like that! Kunou What a shock. Kunou But that didn't hurt. Kunou I'll be back for you, purple-haired girl. p 59 Ataru-chan Whew. One down. Now for Rei. Ataru-chan I'll help you this time. Ataru-chan Give me that pig, Lum. P-chan Grrrrr... Ataru-chan Rei, I am going to throw this pig onto a coming car. Ataru-chan You'll have to choose between your next meal, or Lum. Rei I know what to do! p 60 Lum Thanks! Rei should be a while, chasing that pig. Ataru-chan Can you do something about Nabiki? Lum Grab hold. I can fly faster than she can run. Nabiki Uh-oh. Nabiki Hmm. Ataru and Lum. p 61 Nabiki I'm sorry, Ataru Moroboshi! Nabiki I should not have reacted that way to your lusting for my body. Lum Darling? It's you behind that purple hair and those... those... Ataru-chan Yes, isn't it awful? Lum You, you unfaithful... Ataru-chan Now what? p 62 Lum You, and Nabiki. Lum Not to mention being romantically involved with Kunou. Lum You tried to conceal it all from me. Ataru-chan But I'm a guy. Ataru-chan Why would I and Kunou... Lum ZAP! Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu Fight of our Life vol. 2 part 6 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/08/27 p 105 Benten Yaaaaahhhhhhh! B-ko Don't crash! Benten It's OK. B-ko I think that cycle needs tuneup. B-ko I've got some stuff in the back to fix it with. p 106 Benten I don't understand this. And I know you don't. torn page Counterclockwise neutron eddy. Reversal may cause temporal anomaly. Benten You'd better just follow the diagram. p 107 Ataru I know you girls are hiding in there. Ataru Come out! Ranma-chan I'm not coming out until I can get some hot water. Akane Hey, look at this button! button Automatic Mecha Martial Arts Kick Ataru Hey, stop that! p 108 Benten Get off me, Ataru! Ataru Not on your life. Ataru Besides, I had to jump on, to escape that killer robot. Benten It's not working. You're going to crash it! p 109 Akane What happened? Where's the city? Benten Oh no. Now I understand that page. Benten Lum! Can you pick us up? radio We're sorry, that number is not in service. Benten That confirms it. We're not where we started. It's... Benten Hmm. 1500 years in the past. p 110 Ataru You mean I'm stuck here, away from everyone and everything I know? Ranma-chan And I thought you'd be glad to be alone with a group of girls. Ranma-chan You miss Lum, don't you? Benten We're not really stuck, anyway. The signal I sent should eventually get to the 20th Century. p 111 Akane Wait, did you say 1500 years? Benten Yes, a bit more actually. Akane It's what you've been looking for, Ranma. Akane A cure. Ranma-chan What? p 112 Akane 1500 years ago, a girl drowned in a pool in China. Akane And you fell in. Akane But if she _didn't_ drown.... Ranma-chan I think that is the silliest idea I.... Akane Ranma.... Ranma-chan But I'll try it. p 113 Benten I see you've made up your minds. Benten OK, I'll agree. Ataru What about me? Ranma-chan Oh, you can stay here if you wish. Ranma-chan We might pick you up later, if.... Ataru If? p 114 Benten Excuse me Earthwoman, which way to Jyusenkyou? village woman I-it's just over that mountain. village woman A-are you gods? Ataru Yes, we're gods. Ataru Ever been kissed by a god? p 115 Akane Hyaaaaaa! Ataru Ow! That hurt! Akane He's a very minor god. Akane Didn't even earn his own shrine yet. p 116 Benten Well, we're here! Ranma-chan Now, to wait. Ranma-chan I think it's this pool. Akane Someone's coming. Ranma-chan It's a girl. Ranma-chan She does look familiar. p 117 girl You're.... Ranma-chan Go away! Ranma-chan Those pools are cursed! Ranma-chan If you fall in, you'll never come out. girl You look like a rather honest kind of person. girl Thanks for the tip! p 118 Benten Lum picked up the signal. Benten We can return now. Ataru You mean that's it? Ranma-chan Yup. It's all over. Ataru If it's over, why are you still like that? p 119 Ataru I'm going to go after your look-alike. Ataru She's got to know more than she's telling. Benten Stay here. Akane Ataru, you are not going to cause us more trouble. Ranma Akane, I think he might have a point there. Ranma But he shouldn't cause trouble among the locals. p 120 Akane Where are you going? Ranma no baka! Akane Ranma, at least be careful. p 121 girl ``Ataru Moroboshi.'' girl I believe this person belongs to you? Ataru mmmffffff.... grrr.... girl He was making passes at all the women. girl But I managed to capture him. Ataru Wait... your wristwatch! Ataru You're Ranma! Ataru You just disguised yourself to catch me. p 122 Ranma-chan Guilty as charged. Ataru I'm going back out there. Ranma-chan Yaaaaahhhhh.... (splash) Ataru Ulp. Ataru I didn't mean to knock you in. p 123 Benten There's Lum's beam! Lum I got Ranma too. Lum The instruments say his heart stopped when he drowned. Lum But a little jolt of electricity should start it. Ataru Home again! Ataru Thank you for rescuing us, you beautiful... Ataru Oh, it's you, Lum. Lum Darling! p 124 Akane Ranma.... Akane You were a red-headed girl. Akane You fell into that pool 1500 years ago. Akane You drowned. Ranma But that means-- Akane, Ranma Ataru!!!! Nabiki Funny, they seem to get along a lot better after having met Ataru Moroboshi. Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu Fight of our Life vol. 2 part 11 -------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1991/03/31 p 179 Ataru Hey, turn that dial back! Ataru It so happens I _like_ City Hunter! Ranma I'll bet. Akane Turn it to Yawara. A-ko I want to watch Orange Road. Ataru But that's boring! Nabiki When she saw the movie, she fell asleep and dreamed the ending. p 180 Ataru Let go of the dial. A-ko Get your hands off of me! Lum Oh there you are, darling! Lum What are you doing with A-ko? Ataru Uh... heh.... p 181 tv set/Kyosuke Oops. Slipped. tv set/sound BONGGGG!! Lum Ataru.... Ataru Uh-oh... Lum ZAP!!!! p 182 Ranma Ooh... My head.... Ranma Someone will pay. Ranma You! Ataru! Ataru (run, run) Lum Don't attack Ataru! Zap! Lum Are you okay, darling? p 183 Ranma Oh, now you show concern? Ranma You're sounding like Akane. Ranma Where are we anyway? sign ABCB Lum Oh no! Kyosuke Hey, what are you people doing here? p 184 Nabiki Lum, tell him. Lum It must have been a freak accident. Lum The shock, and you hitting your head at the same time. It sent half of us here. Ataru I'm going inside! Ranma What's he after? Ataru The ABCB! Madoka! p 185 Kyosuke I'd better go inside. Lum What is darling doing? Nabiki Must be chasing girls, of course. Ranma That jerk. p 186 Kyosuke Ayukawa! Kyosuke Ataru, leave her alone. Madoka Oh, it's all right. We were just talking. Ataru Ayukawa Madoka, please accept my apologies. Ataru I just wanted to talk. I've wanted to meet you for a long time. Lum That's not like darling. Nabiki Aren't you going to chase her? Nabiki Grab for her skirt? p 187 Ataru Ayukawa, would you like some ice cream? Nabiki Definitely not like Ataru at all. Lum Darling, you don't really like her, do you? Ataru Go away, Lum! Lum Why are you throwing things? I only meant.... p 188 Kyosuke Look out, Ranma! Ranma That glass of water... suspended in mid-air.... Kyosuke I think you know what just happened. Kyosuke Don't say anything. Ranma I won't say anything about you if you won't say anything about me. p 189 Hikaru Hello! People! Sempai! Kyosuke Uh, Hikaru... we're sort of busy now. Hikaru You're just sitting here. Hikaru Madoka, is he a friend of yours? Madoka Someone I just met. Madoka Seems like a nice boy. p 190 Hikaru Did you hurt your head, sempai? Kyosuke I bumped it, but it's not my head that's hurt. Ranma You really like Madoka, don't you? Ranma Sometimes it's hard to show it. p 191 Ataru So your parents are over in America? Ataru It must get really lonely here. Lum Darling, it gets really lonely here, too. Lum Ataru, please come back. Lum If you don't, I'll.... Madoka Lum, sit down. p 192 Madoka This is not something to fight over. Madoka Ataru, this is not your home. You don't really belong here. Madoka You belong with Lum. Kyosuke And you, Ayukawa, belong.... p 193 Hikaru Is something wrong, Kyosuke? Hikaru Were you about to say something? Kyosuke I don't know what to say. Ataru Lum, I think she's right. Ataru We don't belong here. We have to get home. And.... Nabiki Oh, there you are! p 194 Lum ZAPPPPP!!! Nabiki Ranma, I'm under attack! Nabiki Protect me, your fiancee's sister! Ranma What happened? Lum whisper, whisper Ranma I see. Sorry, Nabiki. See you later, must go. p 195 Kyosuke Before you go, let me give you some advice. Kyosuke Akane is cute, and you should let her know it. Ranma I'll... think about it. Ranma Now, you bump your head again. Ranma Lum can do her usual. Lum I'm too tired to zap any more. p 196 Ranma We have to get Lum to blast us. Ranma Kyosuke, can you get that pitcher over here? Kyosuke Here comes. Ranma-chan Hello, Ataru. Ataru You're so gorgeous when you look like that! Lum Ataru no baka! ZAPPPPP!!! p 197 Nabiki We're back. Nabiki And this also proves Ataru is back to normal. Ranma-chan Uh... Akane, how much did you see? Nabiki She didn't see anything. It was a rerun. Nabiki You were going to tell Akane something? Nabiki Stubborn tomboy, was it? Ranma-chan She's lying! Akane Ranma no baka! Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu Path: noname.edu!toshiyori From: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime Subject: Fight of our Life Vol. 3 #1 Reply-To: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Message-ID: <1991Aug30.093123.2217@noname.edu> Date: 30 Aug 91 23:31:23 GMT Organization: Furinkan/Tomobiki/Graviton Consolidated High School Keywords: PARODY Distribution: world Fight of our Life vol. 3 part 1 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1990/09/10 p 2 Nabiki So you've decided then. Nabiki The race is next Sunday. Nabiki Sponsored by all the rich people in town. Mendou It is an excellent idea, Nabiki-chan. Kunou If the pony-tailed girl will be there, I agree. B-ko A diversion, at least. I'm for it. p 3 sign Demae Kakuto Race II Nabiki Mendou-sama, would you please do me the favor of reading off the rest of the rules to the contestants? Nabiki I have to go do something. Mendou Of course, Nabiki-chan. p 4 Mendou This contest starts here and ends two miles away. Mendou The contestants must carry a bowl of ramen, without spilling, to the end. Mendou The prize will be ... hmm ... Shampoo A date with Ranma! Kaori Too bad marriage wouldn't work. p 5 Shinobu Whew. Akane You're a good fighter. I wish we could practice together more often. Shinobu Thank you! Mata ne.... Shinobu There's something you might like to know about going on outside. Akane Hm? p 6 Akane What? Akane They can't do this! Ranma They can do it. Ranma Uh, you see, I lost a bet with Nabiki... Ranma So I had to, uh, agree to.... Akane WHAP! Nabiki Fair is fair, Ranma. Nabiki Oh, would you like to bet on the race, Akane? Nabiki I'm taking bets while Mendou's announcing. p 7 Kaori I'm surprised how many girls are in this race. Shampoo It doesn't matter how many of you there are. Kaori You can't beat me, Shampoo. This is my profession. Shampoo I've practiced often. There's no way you can win. Akane I'm entering this race. Shampoo, Kaori What? p 8 Akane Ranma, you had better be grateful. Akane I'm doing it for your own good. Ranma-chan I don't need your help. Ranma-chan The prize is transferrable. Ranma-chan And I will make my own decision. p 9 Shinobu Watch out, Akane! Akane Aaaaaaaah! Ranma-chan Looks like practicing wasn't the best idea. Ranma-chan You always get hurt just before the contests. Ranma-chan Not cute. p 10 Shinobu Take it from me. Shinobu I've been on the side watching a race myself. Akane What happened? Shinobu It changed everyone's lives forever. Akane Well, Ranma's not trying to chase someone from outer space. Akane Oops... oh no... Nabiki Hey you two, watch where you're tossing that table! p 11 announcer The ramen carrying race. announcer Each of you must reach the end without spilling it. Ranma-chan There's a hole ahead. Ranma-chan Whatever they do there, nobody will see. Ranma-chan I must strike first. p 12 Shampoo Right there, in that hole. Shampoo Grab a boulder with ramen and pull it in. Kaori I have one chance. Kaori If the others can be trapped in that hole. p 13 sound effect faaaaaallllll p 14 Ranma-chan I don't suppose any of you happened to spill anything when you fell? Shampoo, Kaori Uh-uh. Ranma-chan I didn't really expect it. p 15 Akane I'd like to join the race again. announcer With a broken ankle? Akane There's nobody else in it. Akane I can still win! Ranma-chan Akane, we're in here! Ranma-chan Help me get out. Ranma-chan I won't ever call you ugly again. p 16 Akane The goalposts, right ahead. Ranma-chan Come back, Akane. Shampoo Oh, Akane's ignoring you, Ranma. Shampoo If we help each other get out of here, we can go on a date afterwards. Kaori What? Where is Ranma? Shampoo This is Ranma. It's a curse brought on by water. Kaori p 17 Shampoo No! Cold water. Kaori This is cold water. You don't think the ramen is fresh, do you? Ranma-chan Amazing! Ranma-chan She spilled all the water without losing a strand of ramen! Ranma-chan But you missed, bitch. Shampoo-neko meow p 18 Ranma-chan A-a-a-a-aaahhhhh.. Akane Another few yards... Ranma-chan (dig dig dig) Akane Just a bit more... Ranma-chan Grrrr...... Akane Someone's coming? Ranma-chan GRRRRR...... whop.... p 19 announcer And the winner is... announcer wake up, girl... announcer And the winner is... announcer Your name? Ranma-chan Saotome Ranma. p 20 Akane So you get to let anyone who wants have a date with you. Akane Couldn't you do that anyway? Ranma Well, yes. Why didn't you try to save me? Akane I wanted to win the race. Ranma What did you think you were racing *for*? Akane What were you doing in that pit with those two girls? Ranma I was helpless! Ranma Not cute, not cute.... Toshiyori Jiro toshiyori@noname.edu Path: noname.edu!toshiyori From: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime,alt.manga Subject: Fight of our Life Vol. 3 #5 Reply-To: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Message-ID: <1992Apr1.040112.0002@noname.edu> Date: 01 Apr 92 12:00:02 GMT Organization: Furinkan/Tomobiki/Graviton Consolidated High School Summary: What day of the year is this? Distribution: world Fight of our Life vol. 3 part 5 ------------------------------- English translation done by Toshiyori Jiro, 1992/04/01 p 87 Happosai That isn't fair! Nabiki You're surprised I have bodyguards? Happosai They won't let me feel your.... Nabiki Goodbye, old man! p 88 Happosai I have chosen a martial art where I must touch women to gain power. Happosai But the power is running low. Happosai So I can find a better source of power! p 89 Ataru There's Happosai. Ataru Following girls around, until they see him. Ataru Getting warm embraces and kisses by stealth. Ataru Hey, old man! Ataru I'm interested in your martial arts style. Ataru Do you give lessons? p 90 Happosai It so happens I do have need for a pupil. Ranma is uninterested lately. Ataru I'm not surprised. Happosai But there is a fee. Ataru A fee? Happosai Lum! Happosai Introduce me to Lum! p 91 Ataru Hmm, I would be glad to be free of Lum for even one full day. Ataru Old man, you have a deal. Happosai I must warn you. Happosai It will be a long and complicated process. Happosai And you may be branded as a lech by others merely for trying to increase your skills. Happosai I hope you can handle that. p 92 Kasumi I'm going to the store now. Akane, try not to get hurt in there when I'm gone. Akane It's only practice. Kasumi Oh, that's all right. Kasumi Akane practices so hard. p 93 Happosai There's your first target. Happosai The girl with the long hair. Happosai Ranma's fiancee's sister. Ataru All I have to do is grab her and hug her? Happosai That's right. Happosai (Ataru's first lesson in humility.) Happosai (Learned when Kasumi's sister avenges her!) p 94 Ataru Come to Ataru! Kasumi Eek! What are you doing? Kasumi Why are you doing that? Ataru Um, uh, it's only practice. Ataru Ask Akane about the virtues of practice. Kasumi Oh, practice, then it's all right then. Ataru Whew. p 95 Happosai Have you learned your lesson? Ataru What lesson? Happosai That you have far to go in fighting, when even a girl can beat you! Ataru What, old man? Ataru You sound like one of those old masters who mistreats his pupils while reaping the benefits, just to get them to learn! Happosai Uh, nothing. p 96 Happosai Next lesson. Happosai Kodachi Kunou is herself a strong fighter. Happosai You must knock her out and give her a kiss. Ataru I'm going! p 97 Kodachi Ranma-sama.... Kodachi Ranma-sama, I am lonely without you.... Kodachi I will humiliate myself totally, do anything for you. Kodachi I know you will want me to do this to show I return your love for me. Kodachi Now what would be the ultimate humiliation? p 98 Ataru There she is! Ataru Just one kiss... Ataru Unless seconds are available. Kodachi I must suffer the ultimate for you, Ranma-sama. Ataru Here I come.... Kodachi What? That boy, here? Kodachi It must be a sign. p 99 Ataru *smooch* Kodachi I have never suffered more than this.... Ataru She fainted. Ataru Must have smelled her own roses by mistake. p 100 Happosai Again? Ataru I did all you ask for, old man. Ataru But so far it's nothing I couldn't do without your guidance. Happosai No! We have hardly begun! Happosai Take me to Lum, now. Happosai I will demonstrate the proper method of practice. p 101 Ataru Lum! Imagine meeting you here. Lum Darling, I heard how you practice with this person. Lum He is a pervert who goes after all women. Happosai There she is. Happosai The ultimate source of female power. Happosai Her very body exudes energy. I must fondle it. p 102 Happosai The weapon, Ataru. Ataru Suction cup arrow. Happosai Are you sure it works? Ataru Positive. I used it when we first met. Ataru I wish I hadn't. (sound effect) sp-o-o-o-ing Lum My bra! p 103 Lum Darling, how dare you! ZAPPPPPPPP! Ataru Wait! Happosai You'll have to come here if you want it back. Happosai Ataru, I wanted you to learn there are things that only a master can do. Happosai But those other girls didn't cream you, like I wanted. Ataru You wanted them to.... Happosai It's an event a master must arrange for all pupils. p 104 Ataru You bastard. Ataru I'm leaving, now. Forget your payment. Ataru Lum, zap him, right there. Happosai Oh no. Lum ZAPPPPPPPPPPP! p 105 Ataru I'm returning this garment to you. Ataru Put it back on, Lum. Lum Darling.... Ataru I was tricked by this old man. Ataru Lum, I don't want you to be a pawn for this old man. Lum I knew Ataru would come to his senses. Toshiyori Jiro ^[$@%1%s!&%"%m%s%G%#!<^[(J toshiyori@noname.edu Path: noname.edu!toshiyori From: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Newsgroups: rec.arts.manga,rec.arts.anime Subject: Fight of our Life Vol. 6 #8 Reply-To: toshiyori@noname.edu (Toshiyori Jiro) Message-ID: <1993Apr1.040112.0002@noname.edu> Date: 01 Apr 93 12:00:02 GMT Organization: Furinkan/Tomobiki/Graviton Consolidated High School Summary: What day of the year is this? Distribution: world Translation from the lead story in Young Video Crossover Comics #10, 1993. Probably copyright by someone. Anyway, I had some spare time and thought I might help you to understand this story. Fight of our Life: sutoriito no konbatto The story begins with the whole Tendo household gathered around a television set. Akane and Ranma-kun are playing a familiar game, and refuses to give the controller up. Ranma is busy kibitzing. Ranma: Jumping fierce. No, jumping fierce. You're not doing to well. Akane: And you think you could do better yourself? Nabiki: The stars of the game are visiting Furinkan High for demonstrations. Today's the last day for tickets, but you can still go before 6 PM. After Ranma runs off, Nabiki starts playing, and seems to be clobbering Akane with Vega's torpedo. Nabiki: That reminds me, I have to buy some tickets. I guess I'll wait for tomorrow. At the ticket booth: Sign: Street Fighter Demonstration Tournament The sign has a picture of E. Honda using the hundred hands slap on Chun-li, who is jumping about 20 feet into the air. Meanwhile, Ranma is fending off a jumping Ryouga with the tenshin amaguriken. The ticket collector is a mutant Brazilian from which the occasional spark is visible. Ranma: Why are you getting Akane a ticket? You're not planning to take her to the tournament, are you? Ryouga: Die in hell, Ranma. Akane: (walking up) Hello. Ryouga: Akane, I wanted to ask you, would you.... Ryouga: Would you.... Ranma: Did you want to say something, Ryouga? Ryouga: I mean, Akane, if you are willing.... Ranma: I forgot to get your ticket the first time through the line, so Ryouga graciously offered to get yours at the same time as his. Ranma swipes the ticket from Ryouga and gives it to Akane. Akane: Thank you, Ryouga. I'm so glad you are helping us in this way instead of fighting Ranma all the time. Akane: Where are you, P-chan? Akane runs off, and then Ranma runs off. A moment later, so does Ryouga. Unfortunately he trips over an exposed water main where the street is being repaired. Ryouga instantly falls in the water and P-chan scampers away, until Blanka falls in the water and is shorted out. Ranma picks up the electrocuted pig and asks Akane if that was the pig she's looking for. Akane: Yes, it is. P-chan! Ranma tosses the unconscious pig to Akane. He misses and the pig sails out of sight over several buildings. The next day comes. Sign: Street Fighter Demonstration Tournament Second sign: No, not the ticket booth, that's 500 meters behind you. Nabiki is busy ticket scalping, having bought the entire last batch. Ken: We begin by demonstrating the most elementary of moves: the fireball. Ryu: The most elementary version of the fireball is done as follows . Including the hyper moves , there are six types... Ranma walks in, and suddenly Ryouga attacks. Ryouga: Ranma! It took me forever to find my way back from where you put me! But now that I'm home, you shall suffer! Ranma: You're not home, this is the Street Fighter tournament. Ranma: You didn't happen to get lost, did you? Ryouga, upon hearing this, gets mad. "Shishi hokoudan!!!!" A huge burst of energy comes at Ranma, charring him and the wall. Ryu: uh... _seven_ types.... Ranma: Mouko Takabisha! Ryu: make that _eight_ types.... Ryouga falls down, only to immediately be run over by Shampoo, who arrives on her bicycle and then tries to run down Akane. Akane jumps up onto a wall. Unfortunately, the wall had been weakened by Ryouga's blast, and Akane is instantly buried. Shampoo: Nii Hao! Ranma: Look what you did to Akane! What was that for? Shampoo: Forget about Akane. We can watch the tournament together. Ranma shrugs and sits back, but winces at Shampoo's touch and occasionally looks back at the pile of rubble to make sure the half-buried Akane is okay. Akane watches the tournament from the pile. Ken: Next, we will demonstrate certain special combinations of techniques. May I have a volunteer from the audience? I promise you will not be permanently injured. Akane, having crawled out from under the pile, belts Ranma hard. Akane: Why, you... Ranma flies up into the air and falls onto the ring. Ken motions to him. Ranma: Wait, I wasn't volunteering. Shampoo: Yes, he was. Ranma, prove you are strong. Ken suddenly charges at Ranma, ready to throw him. Ranma steps sideways. Ken: You're not supposed to step sideways. Ranma: Is this some kind of honor thing? Ken: Can't overthrow penny-ante third world dictators without it. The announcer blows a whistle, and the fight begins again. Ken dragon punches Ranma, who ducks and grabs Ken by his feet, tossing him into the air. Kunou: (in audience) That was a cheap throw, Saotome Ranma. Ken: You're good. But nobody is good enough to win. Ranma: What do I get if I win? Ken: A trip to china. It's printed right on the ticket. Ranma takes out the ticket to read the fine print, which does indeed say that anyone to survive the demonstration wins a trip to China. As Ranma is looking, Ken tosses a couple of fireballs and then Hurricane Kicks Ranma right off of the ring. Announcer: (to Ken) You win. Blanka: grunt grunt Ryu: He's asking for your name. Ryouga: Hibiki Ryouga. Blanka balls up and rolls towards Ryouga, knocking him down. As stars swim around Ryouga's head, Blanka picks him up and starts biting. Ranma-chan: (who has been knocked in a lake) No time to change back. And maybe I can get back in the tournament. Ranma-chan hops in carrying a large bucket, and dumps it on Ryouga when Akane looks away. P-chan shrinks out of Blanka's grasp and starts to bite him on the head. Blanka drops to the ground. Ken: We have a winner! And I thought it was impossible. P-chan: meep meep Chun-Li is about to walk onto the ring, but is stopped by Shampoo. Chun-Li: Speak up. I can't understand you. Shampoo says something that looks sort of like Chinese. Chun-Li is still puzzled. Chun-Li: Oh, Nyuchezuu dialect. Sumimasen, I don't know Nyuchezuu dialect. Panda-sign: Some of us don't know any Chinese at all. Chun-Li gives Shampoo her autograph, which is what Shampoo wanted anyway. Chun-Li then walks onto the stage. Chun-Li: I am the strongest woman in the world! Ranma-chan: Even so, I will beat you. Chun-Li: I mean the most _skillful_ woman in the world. Ranma-chan: Wow, you can beat Nabiki at ticket scalping? Chun-Li: The most skillful woman _street_fighter_ in the world. Ranma-chan: And how many of those are there? Chun-Li leaps back and forth and back and forth a few times. Ranma tosses a few fireballs after thinking good thoughts about winning a trip to China and removing the curse. She almost thinks of a wedding scene with Akane, but quickly shakes her head. She kicks and kicks at Ranma, but Ranma jumps up 30 feet in the air (with yardsticks even) and lands on top of her. Chun-Li leaps backwards, bounces off the wall, and comes down from above Ranma, who gets thrown to the ground. Ranma groggily gets up and manages to put another fireball in the wall. When Chun-Li bounces off of it, the exact same thing happens that happened to Akane's wall. Announcer: You win! Ranma-chan: You could tell us _who_ wins. Shampoo is holding out her ticket, making hand-motions and pointing out the section about a free trip to China. Cologne: (whisper) Just speak in Japanese. Shampoo: I want to go with Ranma! With that, she enters. Guile: Sonic boom! Sonic boom! Just kidding. Shampoo turns her head and Guile razor kicks her. Shampoo goes tumbling. She manages to land near her bicycle, which she picks up and runs after Guile with. Guile tries a knee butt, but Shampoo manages to wrap the bicycle around him. Announcer: Chun-Li wins. Shampoo: "Shampoo". Announcer: Sorry, the hair confused me. The next challenger is Mousse. He fights Balrog. The scene is all off-panel, but has a lot of clanking sounds. This is evident when the fight is finally shown; all they are doing is riposting and parrying with each other's claws. Balrog's claw finally breaks off, and Mousse knocks him out with an exploding egg. Pull back to show a line of familiar Ranma cast members all waiting to be "demonstrated" on. On the final page, the whole gang is in China looking at the scenery. Ryouga: Jyusenkyou is nearby. Shampoo: Don't be silly. It's closer to Japan than here. China is a pretty big place, you know. The second half shows Chun-Li and Zangief sitting in front of a table with an unlabelled, but obvious, game machine. The game is Ranma 1/2 Part II. Toshiyori Jiro ^[$@%1%s!&%"%m%s%G%#!<^[(J toshiyori@noname.edu