Translation Error
                                   a spamfic
                                by Ken Arromdee

    "A wishing sword?" asked Ukyou.

    "Of course" replied the monk.  "Anyone who pulls the sword out gets three
wishes.  All you have to do is find the sword and put it back here, then pull
it out again.  It's the best tourist attraction around here ever since the
Japanese nannichuan closed down.  Feel free to try.  Of course nobody actually
managed to do it since that young samurai pulled the sword out a few months
ago."

    "Young samurai?"  Ukyou didn't know of any young samurai.  Martial artists,
Chinese amazons, but samurai?

    "The young samurai who spoke of his adventures so much.  His greatest
enemy once wrote the word 'buffoon' on his head."

    Oh.  That young "samurai".  Kunou.  A pompous windbag who always quoted
Shakespeare and whose head could overheat just because it was turned on.  "I
think I know who you meant", replied Ukyou.  "Thanks, sugar!"

    She ran back to Nerima, hopeful for the future.  Soon she and Ranma
could... hm, what could they do?  If she forced Ranma to marry her against his
will she'd be no better than those poor excuses for fathers who kept trying to
force him into marriage with a tomboy built like a brick who he obviously
wanted to avoid marrying.  But there had to be something....

                                *   *   *   *   *

    "Nabiki, I need some advice!" exclaimed Ukyou.

    "Maybe if you let me have a free meal?"

    "Oh, that'll be fine.  I know you don't eat that much, you just snack.
You see the problem is that I need to find Kunou's magic sword, and then I need
to know what to wish for...."  She went through the whole story.

    "Very interesting.  Okay, Kunou-baby's sword should be hidden on Furinkan
Beach."

    "And the wish?"

    "Search the Internet."  She wrote some phrases on a piece of paper.  They
looked almost like obscure magical mantras.  "Here's the web sites."

    "Can't you be more specific, sugar?"

    "Only if you make that two free meals...  and transferrable."

    Transferrable?  If Genma got ahold of them...  her restaurant would be
losing money for an entire week.  "You know I can't afford that."

                                *   *   *   *   *

    The sword was difficult to find until Ukyou offered free okonomiyaki for
swords.  Two days later she had thirty katanas, sixteen bokken, five long
swords, one Sword of Stone Strike, and one wishing sword.  The wish was harder;
she eventually found a good idea in a fanfic on the Internet.

    Now came the moment of truth.  Ukyou plunged the sword into the stone and
removed it again.  Well, actually it stayed stuck until she threatened the
stone with a few spatulas, but basically, it came out.  "I wish...  that
Ranma-honey and I could communicate to each other all our thoughts, feelings,
and emotions whenever we want to or need to."

    There, it was done.

    *Hi Ranma-honey!* she thought.  *Can you hear me?  I made a wish so we
could be closer...*

    *Ukyou you jerk!*

    It worked...  but Ranma never got that mad at her!  What was going on?

    *Ranma, why are you so mad?  You weren't secretly hiding all this anger
from me all the time?*

    *I wasn't!  You messed up the wish!  Come over to the dojo and you'll
see.*

    Ukyou arrived at the house in short order.  *The pond!* screamed Ranma in
her mind.

    Floating in the Tendou pond was a large jar of fluid and a pile of clothes,
obviously Chinese-style: the ones Ranma always wore.  Most of the household was
standing nearby, aghast.

    *What did I do?*

    *You turned me into a jar of sweetener and you want to know what you did?*
As he said those words in her mind, the same sentence appeared on the jar's
label.  It was just like Genma's signs.

    *Oh.  I'm sorry, Ranma-honey.*

    *Please don't call me that.*

    *I still have two more wishes.  I can fix things...*

    Ranma's mental voice sighed.  *Ukyou, you meant well, but...  _why_ in the
name of the Seven Lucky Martial Artist Gods did you make your wish in
_English_?*