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When Momma was a little girl she liked to run and play But when she hit her teenage years, her bosom buddies strayed My Grandma took my Mom aside and said, "Don't be depressed. I have a little something for you in my cedar chest!" It was white with two white straps A little satin bow A pair of lycra panels To hold you as you grow Two rows of white enameled straps To hold you, tight like claws They covered up her baby boobies Grandma's training bra! When I got into feminism, bonfires were the thing I hadn't yet developed, yet I knew just what to bring I tore into that cedar chest and finally staked my claim But even using lighter fluid it wouldn't hold a flame! It was white with two white straps A little satin bow A pair of lycra panels To hold you as you grow Two rows of white enameled straps To hold you, tight like claws A little charred around the edges Grandma's training bra! I went to college, got a job with a software company Nearby the city by the bay I got married, had a daughter, she grew up normal, just like me Until one strange and fateful day My little girl came home from school; her face was filled with joy She said, "Mama, I'd like for you to meet a special boy. I'd like to give him something that would help him to feel nice." She tore into that cedar chest and pulled out a surprise! It was white with two white straps A little satin bow A pair of lycra panels To hold you as you grow Two rows of white enameled straps To hold you, tight like claws My son-in-law, he's quite the shocker He likes to wear it with his boxers Grandma's training bra!
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