Bitch and Animal
at an unnamed point in the late 20th century,the sperm of a metallurgist and
the sperm of a math teacher mixed with the eggs of a tap dancer and a kindergarten
teacher. the results of this cuntcocktion are the heroes of our story, bitch
they lived separate and incomplete lives until they bumped into each other
(in the midst of a mushroom trip) after a play rehearsal in a chicago theater
school. within a couple hours they started making music.
some earthlings believe the duo have been making music together for many lifetimes
under many aliases. all we can say is that in their present incarnation, they
are known simply as "bitch and animal." no one knows their secret
identities; rumor has it that if their birth names are ever revealed, the universe
will screech to a halt - so no one ever dares to ask.
bitch, (originally from detroit, or what she lovingly calls the "motor
shitty") and animal (who hails from queens) spent months and days and
hours and minutes creating musical adventures for themselves and their friends
as they layed in wait to hurl a stick of artistic dynamite into the living
rooms of an unsuspecting america.
the world got its first taste of the duo when they took their show to an art
and music festival in ypsilanti, michigan, after which they decided to devote
their lives to their music. in the years to come, they quickly garnered a cult
following. opening the minds of citizens in new york city, then on to other
freaky people in provincetown, mass-a-two-tits. (first they took manhattan,
then they took cape cod.)
in the fall of 1998 they released their "pussy manifesto," the document
which laid the foundation for the duo's pussy revolution - a spread-it-yerself
rebellion born inside the eggs of us all.
with the manifesto as their guide, they headed out on a cross-country tour,
which was interrupted by a phone call from the queeps of a short chick folksinger;
they were asked if they wanted to open a show for ani difranco in amherst,
so, our beloved superheroes stopped their tour in new orleans and drove straight
to seattle where their friend had a friend with a studio and some tape. dozens
of fundraising calls and one car wreck later, their debut album, 'what's that
smell?,' was completed and delivered right to the show. the duo dazzled the
open stares of the stadium where the masses were gathered, and were invited
to hit the road and rock hard with ani.
they toured throughout 1999, both on their own and with the righteous babe
love boat, covering the eastern and western seaboards and a whole chunk o'
europe. in may of 2000, they started recording 'eternally hard' with ani and
finished it with wayne (dutch boy) schrengohst in may of 2001.
our noble witches have been spreading their pussy music far and wide-open
to stunned and spired audiences of all ages and genders-they have played kindergartens,
hockey rinks, rock clubs, theaters, folk fests, weddings, drag king bars and
retirement parties... their music knows no limits but "limit" himself!
here it is, the heart on we've all been waiting for... bitch and animal's
latest and most pussy album,"eternally hard"