How Does a Chicken Cross the Road?

NT Chicken

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM)

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken

It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken

First it builds the road ...

C Chicken

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

Visual Basic Chicken

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

Web Chicken

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken

Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken

   0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
   IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
      PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
      VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
         ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
   ELSE
      GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Copyright 1997, Lynn Gold.
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